oh well..

I’ve been doing whatever it is I am doing for almost 5 years already. I’m bored and tired and basically all the combination of the two put together plus BURNOUT.

I’ve been trying my best to pat my back for every little achievement that I do since appreciating achievements in my team is out of the norm. It’s either you did a crap job or you do your job. Never “you did a great job!.”

Such a sad thing to realize that the major part of my reason for being so damn tired of staying here is simply because people here are bias and mostly because you will be asked to do a lot and they will expect you to excel, and when you did a simple YOU’RE GOOD or just a plastic SMILE will never come your way.

I am not the type of person who asks my boss to say I’m good. I just want to be appreciated. I don’t want to be ignored just because I didn’t come from La Salle or Ateneo or even the AsiaPacificCollege, but I’m proud to be a PLMeyer. The school sucks (I know) but the fact that I sweat and cried blood from that damn school meant a lot to me. To hell with the high rate tuition, I’m damn proud that my parents didn’t have to shell out money (that can actually buy you a house just for a year’s worth of tuition) to pay for my school. I’m damn proud of that!

This is what I have to endure everyday – add the fact that people I work with doesn’t only have attitude problem but also a personality dilemma. I just couldn’t live with that. I am never the type of person that loves attention. I only like it when I ask you to be attentive to me. All I get here is negative attention… oppss.. I’m owning my problems alone right? Ok, I’ll rephrase.

This is what we have to endure everyday – that is 4 person out of 5 in our team. This is what we have to face everyday. The bias norm, the under-or-maybe-never-appreciated standard procedure in our daily working hours.

I complain a lot. I know. It’s just that sometimes, you get this urge to smack a bitch’s head over and over to let go of your anger and frustrations.

Oh well, I guess I have to bottle up my emotions again. Still not the time to get it out of my system; I guess I need to wait more. L