Remember by Christina Rossetti

I just can’t help myself from posting this beautiful poem by Christina Rossetti.

The first time I read this was when I was in grade 4 and I love it eversince.

REMEMBER me when I am gone away,   

Gone far away into the silent land;   

When you can no more hold me by the hand,   

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.   

Remember me when no more day by day 

You tell me of our future that you plann'd:   

Only remember me; you understand   

It will be late to counsel then or pray.   

Yet if you should forget me for a while   

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave   

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,   

Better by far you should forget and smile   

Than that you should remember and be sad. 

un-superficialize me

I always have this fascination with Hollywood celebrities simply because almost all of them look like gods and goddesses from our time. Well, that is if you don’t even know how much procedure they did from top to bottom and in between and how much botox they inject in any part of their bodies (I read somewhere Beyonce had botox injected in her foot so there will be no more pain from wearing too high heels. Ick.) and how much food they purge and how much coke they have to snort just to maintain their looks. Oh well, I’m superficial so these things really don’t affect my fascination towards these beauties.

Anyway, as far as I can tell, Hollywood celebrities are the only people who keeps my fascination at the extreme. I don’t really like our local actors because hey – their local and I don’t really know most of the newbies.

During my dinner break guess who I saw – Richard Gutierrez. He is literally a god. He looks like a marble statue (must be because of those glutha thingy they take or whatevs) and he really has that certain appeal that can literally drag your panties down (since I always make sure I use panties with garters in it). I was in awe. Drooling is not the word I’ll use to describe what I’m doing at that time when I saw him.

I used to think that if ever I saw some local artista, I’ll just walk as if I didn’t see anything special (except for Maricel Soriano!) but then again, I guess I’m eating my own words now. Yum yum.

I’m standing in line with my mouth hanging open. He’s literally in front of me. People around me are buzzing to and fro about how cute Richard is. Well he is damn cute! I’m literally holding my panties so it won’t fall off or rather so I won’t take it off in front of him.

He smells like heaven. You know the feeling that even though you haven’t in your life tasted any Indian guys or girls before and when you tasted something that tasted like curry and someone asks you how it tasted you simply say: It taste like Indian? Well that’s how I know that he smells like heaven.

So while still in line, I seize the opportunity and get all my courage to say hello to him. He looked at me in his brown eyes and said hello back. Ha!

As if I’m not that desperate enough I tried to tell him how cute he is in his last movie. He asked me what movie I saw and I told him its Halimaw Sa Banga. All I got from him is a smirk and a heavenly smile and then he took his coffee and out of the store.

Damn. I just remembered that it’s Kambal Tuko and not Halimaw Sa Banga. Seriously, Halimaw Sa Banga? What the hell is wrong with me??!!!

Books i need to buy

Knowing that I am indeed off to BankruptcyLand, I told myself that I’m gonna enjoy every minute of the ride. So here are the lists of some books/series that I am willing to sacrifice my allowance just so I can read them and collect them asap. And yes, I am so excited!!

1. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

I’ve blogged about this genius creation a while ago, and though I’m in awe about this book, I haven’t got the money to buy it. Hahahaha Purita Mirasol gogogogo!!!

2. Vampire Diaries Series by Lj Smith

I’m a sucker for vampires (no pun intended) and I couldn’t help but wonder if this series is truly worth my time and my money at the same time. The review says its ok and I guess I have to find out for myself. No harm in trying in buying the whole series since they will add up to my collections anyway right?

3. Dark Hunter Series by Sherrilyn Kenyon

I’m having a really hard time looking up the first 10 books in this series. Thankfully, my hubby ordered the first 4 books in Amazon and I’m just waiting for its delivery!! Gosh, hopefully the book will be good enough so I can collect the entire series. (20 books!) There’s nothing sadder than having to buy the first few books and not being able to collect the entire series. I just hate that.

4. Dark Series by Christine Feehan

I will buy this series. I’ve got the reviews and most of them are good. Well, most of them. Hey, at least MOST of them. Pretty redundant, I know.

5. 7 Deadly Sins by Robin Wasserman

I’m still contemplating if ever I want to collect this or not. I wasn’t able to read any reviews yet. I just don’t want to jump on the impulsive-buying wagon (as if I’m still not the main rider!). But just in case, at least I have back-ups.

6. The Inheritance Cycle Series byChristopher Paolini

I remember being in awe with the storyline of Eragon back when I saw the movie around 2006-2007. The plot is similar to Star Wars and a little bit like Lord of the Rings, but hey, I like those kinds of book anyway.

That’s it for now. You don’t want to know how many series and how many lone books I wish to buy. I’m still waiting for December to splurge, splurge, and splurge.

Interview. Interview. Interview.

I just had another interview. It sucks big time. It goes something like this:

Can you tell me more about yourself more or less?

More.

No, no, no… I meant can you tell me more about yourself.

Oh. Okay. My name is Alen and I am a rage-aholic. I love beating people up into a pulp. I enjoy blood and gore and almost anything that has to do with pain. You can tell that I am a bit of a sadist, but honestly, I’m not. I just don’t find hurting people with my bare hands sadistic. I mean, if you can even call that sadistic. I guess for me its leisure. I love pain and I derive a great satisfaction in hearing people cry. Oh! I’m also hardworking.

Ok… So can you tell me more about your “rage-aholic” side?

Well.. I don’t really know if that’s one side of me or not. I guess it’s an integral part of being me. I am rage-aholic. There are some people who are shopaholic or alcoholic or maybe even phobic of anything for that matter. I don’t find anything wrong with being a rage-aholic to tell you frankly. Some people seem to think that its weird or downright scary to have one. Of course there are some ups and downs in being one, but I find the ups of it to be more liberating.

Can you tell me the Ups and Downs of being a.. err.. rage-aholic?

Ok. Remember I told you I love pain? Well, being a rage-aholic is a good thing since you always seem to be surrounded in pain, or people in pain. And that’s a good thing. Seeing someone scared out of their wits and shaking with tremor everytime they see you are a satisfaction all in itself. I smell pain everyday. It helps me get going in a depressy-kind of day. Torture is a breath of fresh air in the chaos that we call earth. It’s fun to torture people. Between you and me, I love the screams and the yelps. It makes me laugh out loud. A lot. The downside? Well let me see… well, I get nightmares about bunnies. Fluffy bunnies. I’m a sweet kid. I used to love this bunny that my cousin have as a pet. In fact I named him Bugsybuns – ain’t that clever? Bugsybuns. Short for Bugs Bunny. I thought Bugsybuns is my friend. We played a lot. One time, I tried to tickle his belly then all of a sudden he bit me. He bit me hard. Everything went black after that. I didn’t know what happened next. I’m pretty sure I must have had an attack of the rage because that’s the only time I get to have those blackouts and when I calmed down, Bugsybuns was no more.

No more?

Yeah no more. I just found the ear lying beside my feet and he’s nowhere to be seen. The only logical explanation was that Bugsybuns ran away. I find that having uncontrollable episodes of rage brings me the sads. It’s lonely not being able to say goodbye to your friend. Being a rage-aholic makes you so vulnerable that you became so sensitive. That’s the downside of it. But I guess sometimes that’s ok, because everytime I have those sad moments, I get up, scream as loud as my vocal chords can support and beat people up. It helps a lot. If I’m lucky I get to torture people that I don’t like very much. But those are a bit of a stretch. There are a few people that I don’t like. Well, there are a lot but most of them are gone now. There’s this one fellow that I find so annoying before but then now we are as close as sisters. I read to her daily everytime I visit her at her place. She’s a lazy slob, that girl. I call her veggie. Well, she’s a vegetable now that’s what I heard. I’m clever like that so I call her veggie. She doesn’t seem to mind that. She’s such a sport.. well, of course I don’t really know if that’s true since all she does is lay there on her bed and stare at me and be a vegetable. Sometimes its not fun at all.

Ok.. Um.. Should we continue?

Yes pls. If we don’t continue, I might have another episode. I don’t find it good to have those black outs. Sorry, I’m a little bit on the reminiscing side.

Ok, ok. Fair enough. So tell me, why do you think I should hire you?

You should hire me because I’m good at what I do. I love causing pain and I’m just hella proud that I excel in doing that. If Bugsybuns is here, he might be proud of me too. And also, I’m a good follower. Ok, not so much and it actually depends on what you want me to do and what I want to do. So maybe you should hire me because aside from the smell of fear, I love the smell of papers?

Can you tell me your weakness? Is it your being a rage-aholic?

Honestly, I don’t find my being a rage-aholic my weakness. In fact I can definitely say that it’s my greatest strength. Extracting fear and causing mayhem is a lot of fun than what I made it sound like. You can never have too much blood in your hands that’s for sure. So my greatest weakness I think will be my being shy.

Ok… uhmm.. can you say that your professional? How so?

Uh.. Im professional because I act professionally. I uhm.. ah.. well.. to be honest I don’t want that question.

And why is that?

Because it makes me upset and it makes me want to rip out your ears.

Ok. It’s a bad question. I agree. I hate that question too. So maybe I should just ask you why you didn’t write your managers as your reference in your resume. Not that I find anything wrong with that. I’m just curious.

Well.. I was supposed to write their names in my resume but I didn’t get the chance to tell me that I’m applying for another job.

Ok. Are they still in good condition? Hahaha Just kidding.

Well.. To tell you honestly, that’s a good question. I’m sorry I won’t be able to tell you the answer to your question because I feel the sadness creeping out on me again. I guess they simply left when I told them that the task that they assigned me is a bit hard. I wasn’t able to contact them after that. Just like Bugsybuns, they left without a word.

Ok.. So ok thank you for your time. We’ll call you if you ever pass the uhmm.. interview. Remember, don’t call us, we’ll call you. : )

Your classic novel just got a bit bloodier and much more cooler!

For my next purchase I’ll be buying Pride and Prejudice and Zombies soon! What?? You dont know that book???!! Shame on you!

Look it up! Its a riot!

I’ve always been fascinated with vampire and zombie stories. I just love the gore and blood shed (romantic plot is a huge plus!) in the story that I read. The only classic novel that I appreciated is WutheringHeights although only in the movies. I just don’t have the patience to read every scenarios that have ‘Tis a good day or Thee is a.. or it is thy.. in every sentence. I just find it boring.

Last month, I prowled the internet not just for the lols but also for a good book to read. After spending a few seconds in the net, I discovered the novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It’s derived from the classic novel but only much cooler. It has zombies and ninjas in its story! Don’t you think that’s a reason enough to read this masterpiece?

Here’s an excerpt from the book that I copied somewhere in the net.

“Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, “I hate to see you standing by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it.”

“I would not be as fastidious as you are for a kingdom! I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and several of them are uncommonly pretty.”

Before Mr. Darcy could respond, a chorus of screams filled the assembly hall, immediately joined by the shattering of window panes. Unmentionables scrambled in, their movements clumsy yet swift; their burial clothing in a range of untidiness.

Guests who had the misfortune of standing near the windows were seized and feasted on at once. Elizabeth watched Mrs. Long struggle to free herself as two female dreadfuls bit into her head, cracking her skull like a walnut, and sending a shower of dark blood spouting as high as the chandeliers.

I’ll by this book before salary. I’m hoping that it will still be available at Fully Booked by then. I just saw that they only have 1 stock left and neither NBS nor Powerbooks carry this book! >gasp!<

I’m so excited for this book. Wish me luck

P.S.

Does anyone know where I can buy Bram Stoker’s Dracula? I keep on looking on bookstores and I cant seem to find any stock for that book. There are sections in Powerbooks where they have the classics such as Pride and Prejudice, WutheringHeights, etc and I thought maybe Dracula is being stored in the same shelf. Can anyone help me on this one?

oh well..

I’ve been doing whatever it is I am doing for almost 5 years already. I’m bored and tired and basically all the combination of the two put together plus BURNOUT.

I’ve been trying my best to pat my back for every little achievement that I do since appreciating achievements in my team is out of the norm. It’s either you did a crap job or you do your job. Never “you did a great job!.”

Such a sad thing to realize that the major part of my reason for being so damn tired of staying here is simply because people here are bias and mostly because you will be asked to do a lot and they will expect you to excel, and when you did a simple YOU’RE GOOD or just a plastic SMILE will never come your way.

I am not the type of person who asks my boss to say I’m good. I just want to be appreciated. I don’t want to be ignored just because I didn’t come from La Salle or Ateneo or even the AsiaPacificCollege, but I’m proud to be a PLMeyer. The school sucks (I know) but the fact that I sweat and cried blood from that damn school meant a lot to me. To hell with the high rate tuition, I’m damn proud that my parents didn’t have to shell out money (that can actually buy you a house just for a year’s worth of tuition) to pay for my school. I’m damn proud of that!

This is what I have to endure everyday – add the fact that people I work with doesn’t only have attitude problem but also a personality dilemma. I just couldn’t live with that. I am never the type of person that loves attention. I only like it when I ask you to be attentive to me. All I get here is negative attention… oppss.. I’m owning my problems alone right? Ok, I’ll rephrase.

This is what we have to endure everyday – that is 4 person out of 5 in our team. This is what we have to face everyday. The bias norm, the under-or-maybe-never-appreciated standard procedure in our daily working hours.

I complain a lot. I know. It’s just that sometimes, you get this urge to smack a bitch’s head over and over to let go of your anger and frustrations.

Oh well, I guess I have to bottle up my emotions again. Still not the time to get it out of my system; I guess I need to wait more. L

Rainy days and Mondays doesn’t seem so bad

Have you ever have the feeling of missing someone so badly it’s like a toothache that won’t go away?

I’m trying my best to look interested in what I am doing today when a thought hit me square in the face – I miss Ahron – my bestfriend in elementary.

We met back in the first day of classes in 1990. We were grade 1 at that time. During the course of another boring lesson in that cold, rainy Monday sometime in June 1990, I heard a little girl crying. It’s not just plain sobbing but a mind-wracking kind of cry that you won’t believe a little girl is capable of doing. It’s amazing.

I asked her what’s wrong and she told me that she was pinched by one of our classmates. I told her to just ignore it and then after that we became the best of friends you can ever imagine.

Everywhere I went, she’s there, yes even in the comfort room. We have a weird tendency to pee together in the same cubicle, waiting for each other’s turn, inside a cubicle. Together. At least we don’t sit in the toilet bowl together. Hey, we were young and carefree and we find it cute at that time.

We are really tight, the two of us. Tighter than your skinny jeans when you let a fat guy borrow it. We’re really close, Ahron and I.

We went our separate ways when we’re in grade 5. I went to Cavite to study there and she stayed and graduated in that same school until highschool.

Every now and then, we get to chat or text and the closeness is still apparent.

I’m just sorry I have to change school and leave Manila at that time.

I met a lot of people that became my friend. Some of them, more than bestfriends. But I guess, I can’t deny the fact that I miss her everytime I think of rainy days in June.

Because even if I hate rainy days and Mondays, the fact that that’s the time we met is enough for me to say thank you for the wetness the June month brings. J

Lying to yourself is not such a good thing afterall

No matter how many times you try to convince yourself that you can do whatever it is that you know you can’t do, at the end of the day or maybe even at the end of the week, you will realize that whatever it is your saying is simply a big fat lie. And yes, it may take you a week to realize how bad you are at lying to yourself or maybe a month tops, but the bottom line is, you will realize. YOU WILL DAMN REALIZE.

Your mind can only take so much of your lying. Sooner or later all your optimism will evaporate thus resulting to the pessimistic tendencies you never knew you had. All of us have that tendency, an inner monster waiting to be release. And I am not being optimistic here, just simply stating the truth.

Unknown to yourself, your act of convincing (deep in your heart you really know the word should be lying) is simply an act, and yes, it will remain an act – and a lousy act at that. After a few phasing, after a few scenes, all acts must end. The conclusion will either be good or unhappy ending, whichever suits the director; but you know as the manager of the performance, deep in your cynical heart, you’ll love it if the end will be unhappy because, unhappy ending is really hard to top.

You will try to stir a few audience on your piece on why things should be the way it should be, but no one will listen, because bad liars doesn’t attract good audience. Only the best liars get the best audience. And you will be stuck in your little dark corner full of hatred and confusion, asking yourself where the hell did you went wrong. You think and think and think, but the answer will never come. Tough luck mate. Fucking tough luck.

Then you’ll understand, everything happened simply because you gave up on yourself a long time ago. A long, long time ago. Back when your dreams are worth every tears and sweat. Back when you are still honest to yourself. And you know you’ll never be able to reach whatever dreams you had, and you’ll try to move on, and you’ll try to let go, it may help you in your long journey to the right path someday, but you’ll always know, that the dreams of yesterday will only remain a dream of the past – just because you lied.

another list that hopefully end my depression

I am currently in the process of convincing myself that I can stay until August before I say bye bye bye to the place which must not be named.

I don’t know if I can convince myself much longer.

Must. Stay. Strong.

Anyway, part of how to convince myself is to entertain myself.

Part of entertaining is to blog about lists.

So here are the lists of things that make me grateful that I am working.

Yes, I need to stay positive.

1. Books every payday.

I love books. Even my pets (RIP to all of them) know how much I go crazy over books. I remember the last word that came out from the mouth of my ex from highschool before breaking up with me is books – not that he reads them but because when he asked me to choose between him and another suitor, I chose my books. And yes, it was such a great decision that after graduating from college, i found out that they end up being lovers.

Its a common knowledge that girls who are a bit depressed either go gaga by changing their hairstyles or by shopping. Im one pf those people who find retail shopping to be the answer for my stress. And yes, I shop for books.

2. Getting called a makati girl

Have you ever watched the movie of Working Girls? (Filipino film starring Gina Pareno). I love that movie, and Gina Pareno is hilarious and eventhough she’s not the best apple in the bunch, (so to speak), I just find it mildly entertaining to be called Makati Girl just so i can remimisce how fun it is to work at makati, not that I am happy working.

3. Airconditioned rooms

I have a huge back problems that is actually caused by my scoliosis. The pain sometimes leaves me crippled and reduced to tears. It is actually triggered by cold temperature, specificially by aircondition. Sure like a lot of fun to stay in a place where my back literally leaves me insane for hurting too much. Well, at least i never get to feel the summer heat.

4. Malls are the creation of the DEVIL!!!

I love going to malls. I find it relaxing to walk…er.. since my schedule renders me from walking being in the mall during weekdays, i guess i have to admit that malls are in fact are a haven for sins. And yes, I am such a fuck-up for convincing myself that i am such a good liar.

5. no social life. Wow. Weee. Yahooo!!

Who needs friends when you can be a corporate slave from 3 pm to 12 am everyday right?

I mean, who need social life when you can talk to strangers from outside the Philippines just to ask their personal information? You get to practice your phony English accent that can never fool anyone. I mean, seriously? What can be cooler than that right? <i guess biting and eating one’s fingernails is much much much interesting than anything I said.>

So yeah. I have such a happy working life.

Rode hard and put away wet

I look beat – from lack of sleep and too much stress from having to spend my days with people who literally make my blood boil. Damn I feel I’ve been threading in the deep unknown water for the longest time, and no, my staying-up-late-because-I’m-reading excuse is the only reason why I still have my head intact. At least my mind gets to be in a place where monsters from the place which must not be named can’t enter.

I’ve been trying to persuade myself that I can do this – meaning, I can wait a few months before taking the exit and scream FREEDOM at the top of my lungs; that I can just flip the finger at those jerks who literally try to make my day a living hell – DAILY. And yes, there are more of them than you can imagine.

But who am I kidding?

The pay here albeit not much to cover the finances and even my luxuries can undoubtedly suffice in helping us pay our bills and you know, help me buy things I want for myself (most of the time.). I know money will never be a good motivation but for me, I guess, as far as I can say, it’s the only thing that keeps me going. Honestly, it’s pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane. Sad to say, we don’t get pay much and everyday is not a payday for us, so motivation shmotivation.

I tried going out and look for other alternative, but again, they wont pay me much.

I’ve been trying hard to resist the temptation to slack off and drift to LalaLand everyday just to confuse myself. Yes, confusion is only one of the things I try to do to my mind to help me in my daily nightmares. Then there’s also persuasion – but that gets old after a few tries. Day dreaming is only done every once a month since who the hell in their right mind can dream good dreams from a place where I am right now? Imagination is such a bitch.

I guess I just have to imaging I’m in a good place right now right?

Ok…

I am my own self. It’s daytime. The sun is out and shining, I love the sun and the warmth it brings. I guess I have to be in my short shorts and tank top since I have to be in the garden full of flowers and the only way to appreciate that garden and feel that you’re a part of it is to wear short shorts and tank top. Both in pink. I don’t like the color pink, but I guess I have to look like I’m one of the flowers in the garden, so yeah, pink it is.

Walking barefoot is a plus, so I guess I just have to take off my sandals. Wow.. the ground is so soft but its not muddy. I can feel the summer through the warmth of the soil. I can feel the breeze that shouts flowers, birds, butterflies, streams… It is such a nice day outside.

Walking barefoot in the warm ground wearing pink short shorts and a pink tank top sure have its perks. Butterflies seem to be at ease of my presence that they flutter around me. Even birds try to sing to me their sweetest song that makes me hum… I guess I know the song at heart…

There are a lot of flowers that extends their beautifulness in the sun. Looking up and waiting to be plucked. I picked one up and I can swear that it smiled at me and winked. I put it in the corners of my ears. I feel like a fairy. A lovely pink fairy indeed.

I tried walking but instead of seeing myself walk, I couldn’t help but smile because what I did was far more amazing than just walking. I think I’m gliding – and such a sight it is. Gliding barefoot in pink with a flower tucked in the corner of my ear, I can hear the buzzing of the busy bees, the laughter of the flowers, the whispers of the streams. It is such a lovely day to be out in the sun and play with the birds and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Then suddenly, the witch passed beside me and my daydream is over.

Screw the dream, I need to get back to work.

just a realization

I used to be a people person. I used to be approachable and utterly funny. I used to be helluvah social butterfly in which mingling is not just a hobby but a part of day to day function such as breathing and eating.

Than all of a sudden – POOF! – Its gone.

I no longer enjoy hanging out with people too much (except friends.)

Acquaintances no longer include the word friendly anymore.

I find that people that I’m not accustomed to spending time with bores me.

Of course, there are certain people that will spark my interests once in a while but I find it too draining to stay and find out whoever that "certain" people are.

And I just realized: I am now as boring as an oatmeal with banana on top. It seems healthy, yes, but still boring.

Gosh, I need to get out more.

just a short quote fromAmy Letinsky’s site

There are people who keep on asking me why I keep on re-reading books.

Since I was never good at explaining myself, I just shrugged it off and tell them to fuck off – Ok, that’s rude, and I don’t do that (often), but hey, I don’t know how to explain, I just assumed that I’m simply weird.

So when I came to Amy Letinsky’s website, I came upon this short quote and voila! This is the answer on why I re-read books.

Part of the reason for reading books multiple times is that when you read them at different times in your life, different parts will speak to you.

So yeah, my life is a big chapter of fiction. My imagination is a wild ride in the depths of the deepest sea and there is such a thing as psychic vampires in real life.

So if you’re going to ask me why I have the unusual habit of re-reading books (over and over), this is my answer! J

book worm :p

I just finished the 9th book (the last as of the moment) of the Southern Vampire Series and I gotta tell you – I LOVE IT!

This is one of the series that I enjoy so much that I am reading them again (and again!) – and yes – I am weird like that.

I still have 4 months to wait for the 10th book to come out. Darn!

Anyway, since I’m still waiting for the next book, I told myself that the next series I’ll collect is from Sherrilyn Kenyon – The Dark Hunter series.

I am already wetting my panty in anticipation for that series (I already (sort of) read the 1st book (I download it as an ebook)).

So last Sunday, the only practical thing to do (to stop my orgasmic excitement hehe) is to go to the bookstore and buy the damn series.

Me and hubby went to National Bookstore only to be disappointed. There are listings of the series in NB, unfortunately, due to chaos and other chaotic occurrences happening in that damn bookstore, we cant seem to find the books, so we’re off to Powerbooks.

I love Powerbooks simply because they have a lot of books to choose from although NB’s prices is much cheaper. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, Sherrilyn Kenyon’s books are not available,and I gotta tell you, it pissed me off to the highest degree.

Who the hell is responsible for hoarding the whole damn series?!

Anyway, after pacifying myself (inhale, exhale), the only logical thing to do Is to accept defeat.

There’s nothing I can do right? I mean, I can go to MOA next week to look for the damn book there.

So anyway, what I did was I bought another book(s).

I bought Gerry Maguire’s Mirror, Mirror, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister and Lost.

I haven’t read any reviews of these books, but the cover simply caught my interest. Plus, I want to read the tale of the Ugly Stepsister of Cinderella. Ok, so it may sound a bit overboard, (buying without even knowing the content!) but what can I do? I am hyperventilating! I guess I have the case of the Nobookaphobia – whatever that means.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to enjoy the books and not be disappointed with them.

And pls, help me in finding Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter series books pls.

That’s too much please in one sentence.

So yeah, whatever, read on! :p

mirror

confe

lost

just another lunatic whining

Sometimes it takes a lot of my strength to fight the sudden urge to throw my things and walk out away from everything.

Ironically, the person or thing that makes me happy is the only person/thing that can make me angry. Like blood-lust angry.

It only takes one simple jab at my fluctuating mood to make me the insane person that I am right now.

It’s a wonder my sudden mood combustion and lunacy is still not a legend.

Oh well, my parents don’t shun me when I’m angry for nothing.

Back from a short hiatus and a recommendation of some sort

So I’ve been absent from the blogging world. Personally, I’m tired – not from blogging, just literally tired. My eyes are a dead giveaway that I haven’t had much sleep in about two weeks. My complexion is much paler and my body is screaming REST and SLEEP almost everyday. Insomnia is kicking me in the butt everyday and I hate not being able to have a good night sleep. (I say that to myself although I am not sure right now if I really hate not being able to sleep.. hmm)

I know I have to rest but I can’t; or rather – I won’t.

You know why?

Because I’m obsessed with my new book collection that’s why!

And yes, I am such a geek. Call me Geekylyn if you ever want to call me in my real name.

I’m currently reading (or obsessing?) the Southern Vampire series.

It’s a Fantasy Fiction.

Don’t snort or give me a side eye because honestly, I’ll never outgrow my love and obsession with fantasy fictions. They are my relaxation bullet. Don’t get me wrong, I like other genres as well, but I am not as crazy as I am with FF when I read self-help books. (I mean, self-help books? Really? I can’t follow rules to save my life!).

I don’t want to trick myself that I get Paulo Coelho’s style, I mean, I love By the River Piedra I sat down and Wept, The Alchemist and 11 minutes but seriously, it took a lot of my brain cells to even digest what he’s talking about. Obviously, metaphor is not my strong suit. I’m an irony-kind of person so to speak.

Anyway, the series is about the adventure or misadventure of Sookie, a telepathic barmaid with big boobs, and vampires and werewolves and other supernatural creatures in the Southern part of US.

You’ll fall in love, fall in lust and hate (or should I say fall in hate just so I can use the word fall 3x in this sentence? Just kidding.) Sookie and the other creatures all at the same time.

9 books are already out and so far, I already read the 8 books and as far as I’m concern, they are my new favorite series after Harry Potter. (Ok, I think I’ve outgrown my obsession with HP, I think this is my new fave series now!)

After losing my mind in reading the Twilight series, in all due respect, the Southern Vampire series jolts me back to life and to loving vampire lit again.

Sorry lovers of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, but seriously, this SV series is a breath of fresh air. It’s like a gulp of lungful of air after being submerged in water for 30 minutes (if you’re still alive by that time.), a new menu after being served adobo for nine weeks, a fresh underwear after being stuck for a week in a remote island without water.. Do you get my drift?

So yeah, I recommend the series. And fuck sleep, I’ll finish my reading. :p

haaay…

Konti na lang at malapit na.

Sana matapos na talaga dahil utang na loob, binabaha na kami.

Tag-ulan

Tag-ulan na naman.
Wala na naman tigil ang pagpatak ng ulan.
Wala ka ng masilayang araw sa langit.
Nakakalungkot.
Nakakabagot.
Nakakainip.
Nakakabwisit.
Hindi mo alam kung bakit may kirot kang nararamdaman,
May nananakit ba sayo ngayon o may naaalala ka lang ba?
Ang kabataan mo ay pilit inaalala.
Ang nakalipas ay pilit iniisip pa.
Ang dating mga tao sa buhay mong nawala na ay
hindi na magbabalik pa,
subalit paminsan-minsan, ika’y umaaasang baka makita sila sa inyong dating tagpuan.
Ang tugtog sa radyo na madalas nyong kantahin noon,
kapag kakantahin mo ngayon ay wala ng halong saya, kirot, tamis o kahit ano pa mang pakiramdam para sa inyo.
Isa na lamang syang lumang tugtugin sa radyo. Nagpapaalala.
Makikita mo ang mainit na kape at ikaw ay maluluha.
Dahil siguro naaalala mo ang mga walang kabuluhang mga huntahan nyong magkakapatid sa bahay noong mga bata pa kayo.
Ang pagpatak ng ulan sa yero ay nakakapanghina sayo.
Pano pilit na binabalik ng alaala mo ang mga kakulitan nyo ng kaibigan mo noong iniintay nyo ang sundo nyo dahil sinabi sa radyo na wala ng pasok.
Naaalala mo ang mga panahon na masarap matulog.
Na masarap ang paghigop ng sabaw.
Na masarap ang pakiramdam kapag umuulan at walang pasok habang ikaw ngayon ay nasa upuan ng opisina mo at nagtatrabaho
Asan na ba ang kahapon? Ganon na lang ba kabilis ang pagtakbo nito?
Naiisip mo kung bakit ka nalulungkot.
Tumingin ka sa langit at wala kang makitang sinag ng liwanag.
Napangiti ka..
Tag-ulan na.
At lagi kang nalulungkot pag tag-ulan.

I used to be a material-kind of girl.
I love everything shiny and beautiful and expensive.
I wallow in the fact that I will, someday, be a part of the elite people I look
up to.
That I will be, in turn, be idolized and praised.
I cherish the thought that someday, my life will be as glamorous as the
people whose lives I follow daily on blogs, on books, on memories.
But time changes people as the wind changes the tide.
I no longer see myself as someone who'll be walking the Walk
and talking the Talk.
I no longer see myself being looked up to by poeple I dont know,
rather only those people I have been associated with -
friends, family, my husband.
I no longer admire people whose lives I deemed glamorous, on the contrary,
I pity the lives they live for most of them do not seem to
cherish the people they are with and the luxury that they are living.
I am slowly learning to appreciate small unshiny things.
Paint and a little touch-ups can make it more beautiful.
Part of me still want to be somewhere else,
where I used to think that the grass will be greener.
Only now, I wish I'll be with the people I love to always be beside me.
and the greener pasture that I've been longing for will only be a place to stay for a while and not stay forever.
I am learning to be simple. I am learning to live the life.
And I am learning to be happy. One step at a time.  

aw!

eto na ilang oras na lang..

ayoko pa pero may magagawa pa ba?

kung pwede lang mag-antay ng kahit ilang sandali o araw man lang..

bakit nga ba ang oras hindi natin maaaring maging kakampi?

kung kelan mo kailangang syay maging mabilis, saksakan ng bagal ang pagalis

pero kung kailangan mo pa ng konting panahon para mag-isip-isip,

hindi mo namamalayan ang agarang pag-alis?

syet!!!! Ilang oras na lang lunes na

susko

Pagod, puyat pero kahit papano masaya ang feeling ko ngayon. Bakit kamo?

Pano kahit wala na sa budget at binenta na namin ang ipod touch (oo, binenta na namin nung isang linggo pa pandgagdag sa gastos at pagpapaaral sa aking hardinero <choz!>) kahit papano nagkakakorte na ang bahay na lilipatan namin. Hahaha

Masasabi mo ng pwedeng tirahan ng mga tao at hindi na mukang kweba na pinagtaguan ni Lapu-Lapu ng maisipan nilang magtaguan ni Magellan nung unang panahon. Kahit papano – pwede na. Saka na ang mga tiles at hopefully makasweldo na kami para naman sa pagpapapintura para by June makalipat na kami.

ang mamang carpentero naextra pa sa picture. sabi ng tumabi muna sandali e

Tanawin ng maigi ang bedframe at ang aparador. Malapit na syang matapos. Mukang pang-api at dukha sya sa ngayon pero hintayin nyong mapinturahan yan at magniningning yan sa kagandahan yan at pwede na isali sa Ms. World next year. At oo, kwartio namin yan.

view sa labas ng pinto ng kwarto namin. Ang natatanaw sa dulo ay ang kusina

isa pang view

Wish ko lang by June makalipat na kami dahil malapit na mag tag-ulan at susko, tulad nga ng sabi ni Ate Marya, ayaw ko ng masikip at maputik (hindi naman kasi mabaho ang bahay namin). Ayoko ng malunod sa tubig baha dahil alam mo naman dito sa min, pag umuulan para lang extension ng Pasig River. Mahirap ng malunod sa tubig baha.

Anyway, more updates pag nagka-kulay na ang buhay ng bahay namin. Suggest naman kayo ng magandang color.